"At this point in my life, I can easily say that categories like nursery rhymes have gotten jammed into a deep, dark crevice of my brain in order to remember more important information, like whether I remembered to pick up my kids at school.

"These factoids that I don’t need to access every day have a tendency over time to meld together with other unloved bits of information into a single congealed mass, until one day I need to remember what Jack Horner liked to eat or I’ll lose my job (I did pick up my kids, right?), and they come out sounding like this:

'Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his curds and whey
Excepting February alone, one nation, under God
Which is not considered to be medical advice in the legally binding sense
So always consult your physician.'
 

"I’m pretty sure this is why they pay me to talk about the crossword puzzle and not, say, foreign policy."

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